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I'm finding myself in a very similar situation - after regaining 35 pounds, I can't decide whether its the weight or the loss of fitness that bothers me more. I guess that makes me a self indulgent baby too. :-) (nah, we're human)


I'm up 20lbs since moving to the USA. It happens. It's annoying in the "don't like to capture the same territory twice" sense, but it's not the end of the world and it's not a permanent condition. Onwards and downwards. I'm planning on getting to my 80s healthy and deadlifting, but I'm fine with the fact that the path from here to there might not be a straight line. :-)

Give your body whatever TLC it needs to recover fully from surgery, and then get back to wherever you want to go.


I don't think you're being a self-indulgent baby, but I do think you're being hard on yourself.

Much of your tone in this entry sounds so familiar from my husband, who (as you know) also has a long history of depression. I can't get him to go easier on himself, either. He tends to self-medicate with sugar as well, and then beat himself up about it. (Unfairly, but perhaps luckily, he seems to be naturally slender.)

I think - depression or no - you will almost definitely start to feel a bit better when a bit more time has passed since the surgery. My mother had keyhole surgery last year, and her doctor had to tell her that - yes, tiny scars, but it's still SURGERY and you need time to recover even if you look OK from the outside.

Good luck on the being aware - I think that's always a positive thing. I hope everything takes an upturn soon.

That was a long comment, wasn't it?


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