You Can't Handle the Truth!

I went to a party Saturday night given by my boss from my old company. Some of the people I had seen at a party in December, most I haven't seen in a couple of years. Now that I've lost *a lot* of weight I was stopped at pretty much every turn by people telling me they barely recognized me and wanting to know how I lost all the weight.

(In spite of the fact that I have this here weight-loss blog, I've never been one for talking about my many diets. Mostly because to admit that one is dieting is to admit that one needs to lose weight. I have much shame about my excess weight so calling attention to it, lost or not, isn't something I do easily. Not the most healthy mind set, but hey, one issue at a time...)

Meanwhile, back at the party... So what's a girl to do? I can't blow off a direct question that's really not too personal by the rest of the world's standards, so I told the people who asked what I've been doing: keeping it at 1500 calories a day, journaling my food, and exercising at least five days a week. You would be amazed, or maybe you' wouldn't, at the glazed look that most people get on their faces. "But what diet are you doing?" they'd ask. "No particular diet. Just a lot of clean eating." This was not the answer they wanted. Mostly, they want THE SECRET.

"If you're not doing a diet, how do you know what to eat?" one woman from accounting asked.

"I just eat a lot of fresh fruit, some veggies, whole grains and beans, lean protein..."

"You can't eat a lot of fruit and expect to lose weight." her friend replied, rather snippily at that. "You must be doing something else."

To my credit, I didn't laugh at the complete illogic of that statement made in the face of the forty pounds I've lost while having five servings of fruit a day. "Well, yes. I work out five times a week and I walk whenever I can."

"I'd workout that much too if I had the time," answered Snippy Woman. "I was doing great until they banned my [ephedra laced diet pills]. I have a slow metabolism. I can't lose weight without medication."

At that point, I retreated because there's no point of continuing the discussion, especially when I know that there are people out there with legit metabolic disorders who are making progress by doing the work. 

I am reminded of something Covert Bailey wrote, and I'm paraphrasing: Yes, there is a magic weight loss pill. It just takes twenty minutes a day to swallow it. (He was referring to the minimum amount of time per day you need to have your heart rate in it's training zone to trigger your body to produce and keep producing fat burning enzymes.)

There is no secret. There is no magic pill. You take it off the same way you put it on: one pound at a time, one day at a time. Nothing and no one can do the work for you. This is why I love you guys here in the weight loss corner of the blog-o-sphere; you know this.

The good news from the party is that I ended up hanging out with the rock climbing contingent from my old department. One of the girls is healing a shoulder injury so next Saturday we're going to climb Mt. Monadnock. It's just a hike, no technical climbing involved, but I'm pretty psyched about it.

Comments

[Renee]

Ahhh don't we all have a Snippy in our lives.

I'm not @ that point yet, where I'm asked for my secret, but part of me imagines, I'll start jumping up and down flailing my (well toned) arms hollering, "There is no secret!"

[zara]

Fantastic about the hike, Beth! And I'm very impressed with how you handled the questions from people who noticed the svelter you. The first thing people always say to me is, "you must be doing that Atkins thing, aren't you?" Grrr. So I know the frustration of trying to get the whole good food/exercise concept through people's heads. Bottom line: it's just not what they want to hear. They don't want to do the work and they especialy don't want to believe that someone who was more overweight than them (in my case) was able to lose weight while they failed at their own attempts through quick fixes. I've been on both sides of that fence, and the grass is greener on our sides now! :)

[megan]

It's just frustrated jealousy speaking. I know I've doled it out enough times myself.

That hike sounds fantastic. Did you used to do rock climbing? Do tell.

[BethK]

Heh. My snarky side gets a perverse thrill out of telling folks the truth and watching the magic-bullet wishing people get all squirmy. Plus there are so many 'sacred cows' of weight loss, like the 'can't eat fruit and lose weight' thing, that you don't even have to try very hard before you piss somebody off.

Megan - I have never rock climbed myself, but a bunch of people that I used to work with are fairly hard core. Mt. Monadnock is in Southern New Hampshire. It's only 3100 and change, literally a half-day hike. It'll be fun to climb it now, and then climb it again at the end of the Summer to see how much I can improve my time.

[La]

It's really great that you were able to stand your ground and not fall to the level of Snippy and her ilke. If there's one thing I can't stand is people who make excuses. Excuses for why they can't lose weight, or find time to exercise, or go back to school, or whatever. Truth is, anything is possible if you want it bad enough and are willing to do what's necessary to make it happen. People who make excuses just don't want it badly enough, that's all.

[Fig]

Love your blog. One of the few I keep up with these days as you have a great attitude- and great writing. Congrats on all your successes. As a "still wishing for the magic pill"- but actually eating right and exercising gal, I get comments like that about my weight loss also- the last time a chick confronted me with the fact I am not on any set diet plan, I replied to her that I used to be "stuck" as well. Shut her right up.

Have fun on your hike- I love them!

[sherpamelissa]

Are you in New Hampshire? Wow! My sister lives in Keene, NH. I'll be headed there for Pumpkin Fest in October.

I know exactly what your are talking about with the people wanting the magic answer. Eating right and exercise is not what they want to hear. It has started to be kind of fun to see the disappointment.

[Wendy]

Hey BethK - great post! I know just what you mean about the snarky side getting a thrill out of the jealous frustration that leaps out when you give the true, and plain and simple, answer on weight loss.

the other thing I've always (snarkily) fantasized about, at the times I've lost weight, is when people ask how you did it, give them a completely BS answer that they *know* won't help them lose weight. like saying something like, "oh, I just gave up chocolate (or white bread, or beer, or some kind of BS food), and the weight really just fell off by itself." wouldn't that just piss em off! of course, I never do, and right now, NO ONE would ask me this question. but they will again... oh yes, they will again....